POLICE ASSOCIATION OF NOVA SCOTIA 73 How to help someone who has an abusive partner continued They may deny that their partner is hurting them. If they do: • let them know they can talk to you any time • respect their decisions: don’t become angry or frustrated. They may be afraid, or not ready to take the next steps. Many people at risk want the relationship to continue and hope their partner will get help to end the abuse • try to understand they may feel ashamed and may have trouble asking for this help • offer to go with them if they want more information or support • if they have children, let them know you are worried about the children’s safety and emotional wellbeing. If you’re unsure about helping You may think: • it’s none of your business • you don’t know what to say • you might make things worse • it’s not serious enough to involve the police • their partner could hurt you or your family • they don’t really want to leave because they keep going back • they will become angry with you • both partners are your friends • if they wanted help, they would ask for it • it is a private matter. But know that: • it could be a matter of life or death • saying you care and are worried is a good start • doing nothing could make things worse • police are trained to respond to domestic violence • you can speak to the person you are concerned about privately, but in a place where others are nearby if needed • they may be quite traumatized and having trouble making decisions • someone you know is being abused and lives in fear • they may be too afraid and ashamed to ask for help • it isn’t “private” when someone is being abused. Always keep yourself safe. Don’t put yourself in danger. Tell the police if you receive threats. Call 911 in an emergency women.novascotia.ca
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